At a family holiday dinner last week, it finally dawned on me that certain people I consider smart and beautiful consider themselves stupid and hideous.

Granted, I spent most of my life considering myself occasionally stupid and more or less hideous, but no one has ever considered me beautiful, so that’s different. Well, almost no one. But those few who did were clearly out of their minds.

It wasn’t my family’s holiday event. The family in question was a loved one’s family, with whom I have spent countless holidays over many years. Not that I always wanted to.

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